PHOENIX — The holidays are a joyous time for many, but for some, they can turn deadly.
According to experts, domestic violence increases over the holidays, for a number of possible reasons:
- stress from holiday shopping, finances, and planning can be triggers
- abusers are more likely to be under the influence when they don’t have to work
- abusers are more likely to be home alone with their victims than at other times of the year
ABC15 sat down with a domestic violence survivor who knows this all too well.
“It’s still painful. I’m still healing,” said Amy, a domestic violence survivor. We’re leaving out her last name for her safety.
“I finally had sought out help after 7 years of being with him,” she said.
Amy says everything seemed normal in the beginning.
“At first, he just started out to be a little bit jealous, maybe a little bit overprotective, I thought. Within two years it was full-on verbal abuse, which was who I talked to. I couldn’t talk to certain people, I couldn’t go to the store on my own,” she added.
Her partner’s jealousy escalated. She says he became more controlling and began isolating her from loved ones.
One day the verbal abuse turned physical.
“He fractured my ribs. He fractured my jaw. Pushed me into mirrors. Knocked teeth out,” Amy told ABC15.
Heather Dumas is a Trauma Inform Care Coordinator with Chrysalis, which is a domestic violence program with a shelter and outreach office.
She says these are all signs of domestic violence.
“One in four women experience domestic violence and one in eight men experience domestic violence in their lifetime,” she said.
Nearly one year ago Amy left her abuser for the 11th time.
“December 24th, I said that's it. Something inside of me said no more. That’s it somebody’s going to die today, and I left. “I knew how to leave; I just didn’t know how to not go back. So, coming here I just feel like I’ve gotten all the tools that I feel like need,” she added.
This time Amy never went back, instead, she went to the Phoenix Rescue Mission, a safe haven for domestic violence survivors.
“I think about it sometimes. Why did I go back? Because it’s like the shame. The guilt and the fear that comes with it. The stigma,” she told ABC15.
Amy says the Phoenix Rescue Mission has completely transformed her life and helped other survivors, by giving them therapy classes, counseling, fully furnished housing, food and clothing.
TaMella Pierce is the Senior Director of Clinical and Residents Programs at the Phoenix Rescue Mission.
She says it’s important to provide a safe space for survivors.
“So, a person can come into our program and actually be here up to two years, if that’s something that they need. But it’s very individual based and we want to make sure they have what they need while they’re here,” said Pierce.
Pierce says their mission is to provide all clients a safe space for healing and… “We want to make sure they know this is not their fault and how to recognize signs and symptoms prior to getting to the next relationship,” said Pierce.
Dumas, with Chrysalis, says providing this space is extremely important, as is having a plan.
“And what we’ll do, the biggest thing is safety planning because an order of protection is a wonderful thing. It’s a piece of paper though. And so you need to have additional tools in your tool belt to be safe,” added Dumas.
Amy is thankful to be out of that relationship, crediting God and the Phoenix Rescue Mission for helping her be brave and keeping her safe.
Here's her message to those who currently find themselves in the position she once was in. “There’s help out there. There’s freedom. You don’t have to go back,” Amy said.
Below you will find a list of domestic violence resources:
